So Long

Today is Mother’s Day. But aside from my nanay, there was this woman who made a mark in my life.

She passed away last Friday. It was inevitable and our family has come to accept it. But it still hurts.

At first, I felt numb when I heard the news. She was rushed to the hospital the day before and I did not really believe that she will be taken away from us quite so suddenly. I thought she still have months to live.

But that’s death. It sneaks like a thief. You never really know until it’s too late.

The feeling of grief and loss hit me way later. It crept sideways, like the night. You know it was there, lingering, spreading until it engulfs you completely.

Auntie Osit was my mother’s elder sister. We were close to her, even though she lived many islands away. I can’t really remember when I last saw her. Three, four years ago. But right now, when I close my eyes and go down memory lane, I can still conjure her face quite clearly as if our last meeting was only yesterday.

She was a huge part of my childhood days and her visits have always delighted me as a kid. She taught me how to properly wash clothes. She showed me and my sister how to sew. She always made it a fun experience to do household chores.

She reminds me of home. The first time that we moved to our present house. The long walk under the stars. The cheerful mornings by the river. She reminds me of chicken stew and dinuguan. She reminds me of everything nice about being in a close knit family.

I will miss her face, her comforting smile. I will miss all those unexpected yet thoughtful phone calls every month. I will miss looking at her and seeing my own mother because they really look alike.

I wanted to cry everytime I remember that I did not even get to hug her one last time.

But her death taught me one thing – I should work harder to let my loved ones feel how much they matter to me while they are still alive.

And right now, more than ever, I realize how deeply I love my parents. I don’t think I’m capable of loving anyone more than I love them.

I believe this is no goodbye. People who pass this life will wait for us on the other side. Till then, so long.

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