Smiles and Heartache

It’s the eyes that first dazzled me. They were the most beautiful shade of chocolate brown, always sparkling with a hint of mischief.

Come to think of it, you hardly ever smile. You grin, you smirk, you sneer. But you never smile. And that’s the thing that really got me. You made me wonder how you will make me feel if you actually smile. I mean, really smile. Not just the slight lift of your sexy lips and the twinkle in your eyes.

Maybe I shouldn’t have wished so bad to see it. You see, if your eyes have dazzled me and your grin mesmerized me, then your smile wound its way into my heart and clung too tight I can’t shake you off. A glance in your way is enough to send my heart in an erratic beat. A  twitch of  your lips and I’m in outer space. And your smile, it takes my breath away.

Just like now.  I feel breathless as I watch you stride across the room, each step bringing us closer together. Your hair is tousled, as if you just got out from the summer breeze. Your chocolate brown eyes searched the crowd, then it fixed in my direction. I’m stunned. I could have melted right there and then when your sexy lips curved into the most  beautiful smile I have ever seen in my whole life.

I can’t help it. I smiled back.

You stopped a few feet away from me. Then you held  out you hand. Heart beating faster every second, I slowly reached out only to take it back. Abruptly.

You’re not looking at me. You’re not smiling at me.

The feeling hit me like a sledgehammer. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. Instead, I squared my shoulders, careful not to let my smile falter. I mumbled a soft hello at the guy behind you. Then I let my gaze  drift into the distance, where the leaves are falling from the maple tree. It’s such a beautiful yet lonely sight.

I smiled a smile laced with bitterness. So much for hoping that you can notice me from afar. So much for fairy tales and happy endings.

When I get home, I will cry buckets. Then tomorrow, I’ll be over you. But for now, I will pretend that everything is right in my world. For now.

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